721217 - Letter to Name withheld written from Bombay
December 17, 1972
Please accept my blessings. I beg to acknowledge receipt of your letter dated November 30th, 1972, wherein I am so shocked to hear from you that you have left your good wife for some time to have sex-life with another girl, who is also a devotee, and that she is now pregnant with your child. That is most disturbing to me. But I know that all big leaders are falling victim to sex-life. So let her live in New York and you live in Paris with your wife, what can be done? But you should not ever see or correspond in any way with her again. That will be the worst example. If you are leader, how you can do these things? If someone will have her, she may get herself married and be happy in Krsna consciousness—I do not want that she shall go away from shame. But you must have nothing more to do with her. Just like [another devotee] has done. He was like the sifter, full of holes, and he was finding fault only in others: Oh, just see that needle, he has got a hole. Now he has made one girl pregnant and they were found out, so he has left me as my personal servant. That is the common practice: full of holes, yet they are accusing others, "Oh! He has got one hole!
Our business is to raise ourselves to the highest status of life as preachers of Krsna's message, and one should behave himself rigidly, then he should instruct others. Two things: Be himself exemplary, then teach others to be exemplary. If one has not come to that high standard, he cannot judge or criticize others. There is one saying from Bible: 'Judge not, lest ye be judged.' So how we can preach unless we are able to make judgements? That will not be possible. Only those who are above suspicion can judge others. One must himself act in such a way that he is always above suspicion. Then he can judge, then he can preach. But now you have no power to instruct. One who is not following himself, how he can instruct others?
If you are repentant, that's all right. You have got your wife, so if you are sexually inclined therefore you should always be with your wife. You are repenting, so Krsna will excuse you. But never do this again. Rather you should stop sex-life altogether, make this your austerity. Do not eat nicely, chant always sixteen rounds, and pray to Krsna to excuse you for your great offense. You are one of the senior devotees, therefore if you behave like that then the whole Society will be at risk. By their nature, gestures, dress, women are lusty—that is their habit. In the Srimad-Bhagavatam it is stated that when a woman comes to serve you, you must be very careful, especially for sannyasis and brahmacaries."