CC Antya 1.142
A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada
TEXT 142
ekasya śrutam eva lumpati matiṁ kṛṣṇeti nāmākṣaraṁ
sāndronmāda-paramparām upanayaty anyasya vaṁśī-kalaḥ
eṣa snigdha-ghana-dyutir manasi me lagnaḥ paṭe vīkṣaṇāt
kaṣṭaṁ dhik puruṣa-traye ratir abhūn manye mṛtiḥ śreyasī
SYNONYMS
ekasya—of one person; śrutam—heard; eva—certainly; lumpati—take away; matim—the mind; kṛṣṇa iti—Kṛṣṇa; nāma-akṣaram—the letters of the name; sāndra-unmāda—of intense madness; paramparām—a shower; upanayati—brings; anyasya—of another; vaṁśī-kalaḥ—the sound vibration of the flute; eṣaḥ—this third one; snigdha—giving love; ghana-dyutiḥ—lightninglike effulgence; manasi—in the mind; me—My; lagnaḥ—attachment; paṭe—in the picture; vīkṣaṇāt—by seeing; kaṣṭam dhik—oh, shame upon Me; puruṣa-traye—to three persons; ratiḥ—attachment; abhūt—has appeared; manye—I think; mṛtiḥ—death; śreyasī—better.
TRANSLATION
“[Experiencing previous attachment to Kṛṣṇa (pūrva-rāga), Śrīmatī Rādhārāṇī thought:] ‘Since I have heard the name of a person called Kṛṣṇa, I have practically lost My good sense. Then, there is another person who plays His flute in such a way that after I hear the vibration, intense madness arises in My heart. And again there is still another person to whom My mind becomes attached when I see His beautiful lightninglike effulgence in His picture. Therefore I think that I am greatly condemned, for I have become simultaneously attached to three persons. It would be better for Me to die because of this.’
PURPORT
This verse is Vidagdha-madhava 2.9.